April 6, 2007

[it's complicated]

izo called... was such a shock! no idea... no idea... no idea... but dat is y i still living dis life wif in-a-single-complicated-relationship status!
oke, myb it's MY fault, smsing him!
JAUH itu ada RUANG yg memisah.
JAUH itu dua HATI yg terpisah.
Apabila JAUH ada JIWA yg resah.
Apabila JAUH ada RASA yg gelisah.
Apabila JAUH ada RINDU yg tak sudah-sudah...
but sms is jz sumthing i never forget to do. jz did it like i owez do, wif or without respond! i remember, he never reply me any single word since our last meet [or date if we can said so] so i jz hv no idea how he could talk to me all one and half hour wif smiles n laugh n memories... no idea... no idea... no idea... but again, dis is why i still keep my in-a-single-complicated-relationship status!
we talked all nite, both was lying on d bed by our own; smiling n teasing n laughing n fighting n singing... we talked about d good old days n about the days dat'll follow n about guys around me n about gurls around him n about everything we jz felt oke to discuss. sooo sweeeeeeeeet yet it's HURT!
jz no idea why dis should happened to me... so complicated! i jz have no place to go, no right to talk, no ears to listen n no heart to feel n share when it come to him!
i told him im OKE without him but i actually feel so LOST... i told frens dat i WON'T meet him anymore but i actually MISSING him very much... n dats why i remain in-a-single-complicated-relationship!
he told me dat we CAN'T be frens but he treated me so very GOOD till i felt we're blessed 2 b together... he said he'd FOUND a better gurl but he said he CAN'T flirt if im around... n dats tied me to d in-a-single-complicated-relationship status!
im jz speechless... hurt me in my heart n soul, mind n body... i thought i'd like 'em... i wished dat d morning wont come... i wished we didnt need to say goodbye... but i actually wish those things wont happened, n i really wish it was jz a super-duper-sweeeeeeet dream i ever had... coz it's HURT.
i wish mak is here 2 b my ears 2 listen n a shoulder for me 2 cry on n a heart to share n a wiseman 2 say anything dat'll calm me down but im scared dat i jz have no courage to tell mak dat he's still something for me... so all i have here 2 do is pray... pray... n pray... not 2 pray for things 2 start again. not 2 pray for him 2 come back. not 2 pray for myself 2 forget d very best soul i ever met. but 2 pray dat we'll get d ANSWER for everything which stuck our messy brain to death, n pray dat god bless d FRIENDSHIP!

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