the second pregnancy

Assalamualaikum...
Isnin aituh cuti so utk kali pertamanya g bukak buku rekod kehamilan utk Adik Z.
Wah, Z sangat! Walaupun belum tahu ape perkataan yg Z tu haha
Kemudian terkenang kali pertama tahu Zihni Aflah (waktu tu blom boh nama lagi) ade dalam tummy momy.
That was an unforgetable life event I should mark!

Masa tu rasanya kitorg baru je 2 bulan kawin. Which means baru 3 bulan lepas discectomy dijalankan kat spineku yang telah ditahap kritikal itu...
I didnt expect that I was pregnant tapi perasaan gatal nak buat jugak UPT tu sentiasa je membuak-buak kahkahkah
Paling lekat di ingatan, pagi tu sebaik bangun tido momy amek UPT kit dan nah, double line di situ!
OMG! OMG!
Terus ku menangis ketakutan.
Ceh, takut pulak bukannye peknen anak luar batas norma huhuhu
Mau kau tak takut???

Ini kisah seminggu sebelum double line...
Saya buat xray di bahagian pinggang ke bawah!
OMG! OMG!
Waktu tu siap sign surat kompem tak peknen.
Kompiden!

Same goes to this 2nd pregnancy.
An unexpected expecting mom again!

Pada saya, adik Z ni membawa sekali lagi cahaya dalam hidup momy.
Kenapa? Selama ni gelap ke?
Biarlah rahsia :) Bukan semua perkara kita boleh kongsi dalam hidup ni hehe
Tapi rahsia Allah memang kita takkan dapat jangka
Apa yg Dia susun untuk kita, Dia buat kita merencana begitu dan begini, lalu Dia jadikan segala rencangan tersebut tak menjadi. Maha besar!

Sekarang adik Z dah masuk 28 minggu dalam tummy momy ni.
Sangatlah melasak macam Along.
Senget2 momy dibuatnya pasal adik dok kanan jer...
Kiri tummy kasik kosong dan tempel uri. Sama mcm Along dulu!
TQ adik sebab bg momy rasa pengalaman ni sekali lagi!

Masa adik 21 minggu, momy admitted 3 hari kat siptal Selayang.
Sebab musabab nye momy bangun Subuh terus muntah2 sampai ke petang.
Bacaan potassium kurang sampai 2.5 sahaje walaupun momy keep on makan minum semua.
Pastu doktor yg garang dan suka maki hamun tu siap cakap adik kecik dan uri bawah jarak 1 cm je dari pintu rahim.
Whaddaaaa.... Sebenarnye lps kuar spital momy g scan kat panel, semuanya ok aje, Alhamdulillah...

Tapi sepanjang warded tu memang momy merasai semua yg dilalui oleh Along.
Dripped all the time sampai tangan bengkak yg paling momy sedih. momy dok 3 hari je, 2x tukar iv line sebab bengkak...
tu pon lepas ngadu kat doktor sambil meraung2 kesakitan.
memang sungguh dah bengkak tapi nurse still cakap masih elok.
Hello, yg sakit tu aku!
Memang asyiklah teringatkan ZA dengan tangan yg sampai seminggu dua di iv drip tu...

Subhanallah, besar sungguh dugaan dan tahap sabar NUMBER ONE MOMY tu...

Masa minggu ke-24 momy diserang asma kali pertama setelah berbelas tahun tak asma.
Ingatkan sekadar penat biasa.
Perutkan dah besar...
Sekali g klinik hambek kau kena neb huhu

Nest 2 weeks (26 weeks) kena lagi huhu
so doktor sahkan momy kena asthma attack during pregnancy
So kena amek inhaler biru (mcm ZA) & cokelat tu thruout pregnancy tapi momy jahat skip2 jugak hehe

Adelah baik dan buruknya di situ...
Yg baiknye, higher chances la untuk momy nak request czer lagi kali ni heheh...
Oh, sape takmau bersalin normal kan tapi pilihan ditangan saye dengan sebab yg sangat ketat.
Jika anda tak setuju, jaangan komen yg boleh bikin ibu mengandung terasa unless anda arif tentang anatomi saye :)

Oklah, sekian saje, nanti kite tulis2 lagi.

Love,
Momy The Zs

#throwback | P E L U A N G K E D U A

26 April 2011 - 26 April 2014 : 3 tahun pasca discectomy saya kongsikan #throwback nya di fb jer...

~~~~~~~~~~
FB post on 21 April 2014

Bumped into this post, 5 days before the third year of the tragedy.

As far as I remember, tomorrow, 3 years back, we went out for hantaran things shopping & having supper with a small group of SEMSASIAN9802. It was Friday.

The next day, woke up to feel the backpain which I was certain that it's only another "muscle cramp" as the doctors always said. Crawling down the bed for shower, sempat cuci bilik air ok time tu... Sambil duduk! At noon, cant bear the pain anymore, push myself to get up and drove to the nearest clinic. Yes, I cant stand up, not even sitting down!

The nearest parking bay was a few cars away. Again, crawling myself to the door of the clinic on the hot sunny Saturday. CRAWLING! The clinic was about to close.

Begging the nurse to meet the doctor. Got my turn, the last of the day. Managed to get into the doctor's room. "What's wrong with me? Is it my kidney?" was my last two sentences before I felt on the doctor's shoes. ON THE DOCTOR'S SHOES!

Was refered straight away to the nearest panel hospital (thank Allah for the permanent job with good medical benifits You gave me before all thise things happen!), did the MRI and the first thing the doctor told me was, "I can arrange your operation by tomorrow morning, I dont think you can wait!"

The rest... Nanti sambung.. Tetibe sesak nafas mengingat kisah silam huhu

P/S:
The "tomorrow morning" was SUNDAY, by the way... T___T 

 ~~~~~~~~~~
FB post on 23 April 2014 @ 7:11 p.m.


[sambungan...]

Mlm ini, 3 tahun lepas.
Saya terlantar di katil Damansara Specialist Hospital.
Dah x sakit dah tapi saya tak dibenarkan bergerak.
Ok saya gerak sikit2 sebab tak sakit dah.
Slip disc ni bukan setiap masa ko sakit.
Bila byk rehat nnt sakit tu tinggalkan ko kejap.

So saya sekadar baring.
Bangun g tandas je.
Tu pon mak tak bagi kunci. *shy*
Mandi. Shower. No bucket.
Gosok gigi. Slow2 je.
Sebab semua perbuatan boleh sebabkn disc makin gerak n himpit nerve saya.
Sangat tipis kawasan yg tinggal kata doktor.
Jatuh sekali, mungkin lumpuh.
Mau tak nangis kau dengar tu?
Eh tak... Saya tak nangis... Nangis dlm hati je, kejap!

Tunang sy & parents dia dtg.
PIL to be nasihatkn mak ayah sy utk teruskn operate.
"Kita jaga dia sama2," katanya.
Nikahnya lagi sebulan seminggu.
Bukan mudah utk menandatangani surat kebenaran pembedahan.
Pembedahan TULANG BELAKANG!

Doktor dtg lagi.
Explen pada parents.
Ye, parents saya baru sampai ptg tu.
Kakak sy tengok film xray tu.
Dia pon cakap SIKITTT je lagi huhu.
Plg takbleh blah ayat doktor haiwan dia tu, "kalau anjing ke kucing ke ni, kitorg kna matikan dulu baru bleh operate."
Huhu kalo matikan aku, takyah la operste dah... Kahkahkah....

 Oklah, sebenarnya sebak... Nnt sbung lagi!





~~~~~~~~~~
FB post on 25 April 2014 @ 11:30 p.m.

[sambungan lagi...]

Sekarang, 3 tahun lalu, sy minum tegukan last dan start berpuasa.
Tak ingat sy mampu tidur atau tidak malam tu sebab esok seawal 730 pagi saya akan disorong ke bilik bedah...


Pagi tadi, 3 tahun lalu, Isnin 25/4/2011, saya kalut call pakar saraf dan tulang di KB, tak ingat namanya.
Menceritakan perihal mri saya, katanya dia x advice utk treatment lain selain operation.
Saya cuak! Called tunang saya, "Saya takut..." and that was my first tears after admitted on Saturday.

Later then, I made up my mind.
I need to get my life back.
I need the operation!

Tengah hari itu, ayah saya sampai.
Ayah nampak tenang.
Tapi saya nampak paper yg sedang dibaca sebenarnya dlm keadaan terbalik.
Saya katakan saya dah ada keputusan.
Jawab ayah, "Kalau boleh, ayah taknak anak2 ayah dioperate." dan saya tidak pun menanya alasannya.

 Petang itu Dr. Malik datang dgn dayang2nya.
Saya senyum-senyum.
"Saya setuju dioperate!" dengan riak penuh yakin tapi hati goyah sikit.
Terus dayang Dr. Malik hulur borang dan pen.
Saya sign.
"Ok esok 730 pagi nurse dtg ambil awak. First slot, saya taknak tunggu lagi."
Tamat...
Ini bukan terlajak perahu!

~~~~~~~~~~
FB post on 26 April 2014 @ 7:40 a.m.

[sambungan bahagian 4]

It's the day!


Jap tadi, 3 tahun dulu, nurse dtg bg baju OT.
Betul2 lps sudah mandi.
Saya pakai dgn perasaan kosong.
Tapi saya senyum!

Tak lama lepas tu family sampai.
Mak ikatkan baju tu, ikat belah belakang.
Tunang tiada.
Dia exam hari tu.
Paper master.
**Sebab saya, dia fail papernya!**

Lepastu saya baring.
Lebih kurang jam 745 saya disorong ke dewan bedah.
Saya tetap senyum.
Ada mak, ayah, adik saya, paklong & maklong.

Saya cakap dalam hati, "Eh, mcm drama pulak!"
Saya ckp mcm tu byk kali.
Especially bila scene lalu pintu byk.
Dan bila nurse ckp "Family tunggu sini je," bila dah betul2 sampai ke dewan OT.


Tiba2 air mata saya bergenang.
Sekarang!
Tengah bergenang!
Kalaulah 3 tahun dulu pembedahan itu tak berjaya, siapalah saya hari ini?

TERIMA KASIH ALLAH!
Terima kasih untuk kehidupan kedua ini.
Terima kasih untuk saraf tunjang dan kedua kaki ini.
Terima kasih kerana melahirkan saya dalam family ini.
Terima kasih menjodohkan saya dengan lelaki ini & keluarganya.
Terima kasih untuk semua ujian dan dugaanMu!

~~~~~~~~~~
FB post on 26 April 2014 @ 10:10 p.m.

[sambungan bahagian 5]

Alhamdulillah...

Tghari tadi, beberapa minit sebelum jam 1, 3 tahun lepas, saya ditolak keluar OT selepas 5 jam dioperasi.
Saya sedar dlm keadaan sedang menangis teresak2.

Tok Mat (pakar bius saya) yg paling panic.
Katanya, "Bertahun saya jadi doktor bius, saya belum pernah gagal. Awak jgnlah gagalkn saya yg dah nk pencen ni... Dah xde dos saya boleh bagi awak. Maksimum dah tadi..."

Alkisah rupanya saya 'terjaga' sekejap ketika operation.
Ya Allah... Taknak saya ingat!

Jam 4 saya dah boleh bangun.
Berjalan.
Tapi dengan bantuan tongkat kaki 4 tu.
Yup, saya berkaki 6.
Tapi tu dah cukup syukur...
Sebab saya boleh berjalan selepas 3 jam keluar OT.
Alhamdulillah...

Sampai di bilik fisio, ditolak atas wheelchair oleh Faizal (terapist), para terapist yg lain dah menanti.
Kak Akmal, Kak Siti dan 2-3 terapist lain yg sy x ingat namanya.
Semua tunggu saya dengan linangan air mata.
Sedih katanya sbb sy masih muda dan keadaan spine sy tu memang teruk (dorg dah tengok film MRI tu) dan tak sangka saya boleh bangun berjalan secepat itu.
Alhamdulillah...

Skrg, 3 thn lps, sy terbaring mengekek2 ketawa tengok Hantu Kak Limah Balik Rumah dengan kakak saya!
Sakit?
On morphine maaa...
Heaven!
Hikhik

~~~~~~~~~~

Hmmm... Sehingga situ sahaja, tak mampu saya nak coretkan lagi tetapi masih mahu mencoret sebanarnya...
Hati saya suka, syukur...
Hati saya juga menangis...
Ya Allah, hanya Kau sahaja yang mampu memberikan kami KEHIDUPAN SEMULA!

[Zihni 18 bulan] Ramadan yang hilang...

 

My FB status on 25 Julai 2013

Assalamualaikum. Berikut ialah jawapan bg sesiapa yg bertanyakan kenapa dan bagaimana ‪#‎ZihniAflahIzhar‬ sakit. Sesungguhnya, hidup, sihat, sakit & mati adalah dalam kuasa Allah swt.

~~~

Februari 2013: Zihni was admitted due to diarrhea & pneumonia. Her liver was spotted to be enlarged by 2 cm; usually due to infection.

April 2013: Went to follow up at paeds clinic & the size of liver didnt reduce at all. Blood test was done & she's suspected yo have Thalasaemia (momy & ayah have NO TRAIT at all).

June 2013: Having another pneumonia attacks & went to personal paeds. Her liver was spotted to be enlarged by +1 cm and the spleen was also enlarging.

10 July 2013: Went to next follow up at paeds clinic, the liver was confirmed to be enlarged to 3 cm & spleen 1 cm. Was suspected to have Thalasaemia (ayah & momy were like HAHHHH??? WE HAVE NO TRAIT!). Another blood test was done but have to wait for another appointment in Oct 2013.

13 July2013: Momy & ayah cant wait (tak penyabar!) and send Zihni to have another blood test.

17 July 2013: Result came out. Again the tak penyabar parents went to the personal paeds and was confirmed that she's having a problem with the liver (as her tak penyabar momy's instinct). A letter to paeds gastroenteologist was written by the paeds.

18 July 2013: Momy bring her to have an ultrasound at panel hospital (which at d end of the day decline the coverage). The paeds there confirmed that her liver & spleen are enlarging but there's no sign of tumor & cancer. Alhamdulillah. Sadly he said that if it is hepatitis then they usually wont do anything bcz hepatitis have no cure. Ok, momy went home very upset & refuse to talk to ayah (kemurungan??? hahaha)

19 July 2013:
*after sahur* Ayah PM-ed Selayang Hospital thru FB asking to know the procedure of requesting to meet the paeds gastroenterologist (Selayang Hosp the good one in Malaysia). We received their quick reply at 730 a.m. same day. At 830 a.m. the PR officer called & promised to help. By 11 a.m. She called again & said the doc (as we named in the msg) agreed to meet us asap.

22 July 2014: Zihni was admitted. Momy went thru a 4-hour interview session on pre & post-natal history. Another blood test was done + some physical tests. Later we were told dat our beloved beautiful sweetie pie is suspected to suffer from a liver failure & metabolic disorders but still, it is NOT CONFIRM!

23 & 24 July 2013: More tests & examinations were done and we're still waiting for some of the results with the highest hope of miracle to happen.

~~~

Adalah diharapkan karangan ini dapat menjawab persoalan kawan2 yg prihatin & mengambil berat. Namun begitu, adalah sangat diharapkan tiada sebarang pertanyaan susulan diajukan kerana kami memerlukan tempoh bertenang & merehatkan minda (we r extremely exhausted mind, body & soul).

Zihni akan ditahan di Wad 8B Hospital Selayang sehingga Ahad (OMG it's a long weekend & we r spending it in hospital!!!) & Zihni akan dihantar ke HKL pada hari Isnin 29/7 untuk siasatan lanjut (dah mcm penjenyah pulak hehehee...) selain utk memberi peluang momy meraih pengalaman menaiki ambulan (feeling excited ‪#‎tetibe‬). But dont worry, Zihni masih aktif & bertenaga terjerit2 terkinja2 di sini.

Doktor yg merawat Zihni juga telah mewarning momy & ayah supaya menyekat tahap sosial Zihni (hahaha) utk mengelakkan kuman & bakterial lain mengelilingi Zihni... So early reminder to pakcik makcik Basripuzi Hayyan Mu'in Hassan Sitisarah Isa Dahlia Khalid Fauza Khalid nanti kalo nk dukung Zihni sila basuh tgn anda dgn sabun dan NO NO NO CIUM CIUM COMOLOT PLS... Huhu tengok ajolah yo!

Sekian. Tq.

My FB status on 26 Julai 2013

We should say sorry to d doctor yg suspect Zihni got Thalasaemia tu. Dia upset sebab rasa kami upset dgnnya. Yes, at first! Tapi lps tahu kes Zihni ni mmg xdpt dikesan awal2, I know we should thank her for spotting the liver enlargement and keep suspecting her to get cancer. Otherwise, mungkin sampai tah hape2 jadi baru kami nak rush here n there mcm sekarang utk treat Zihni. At least, kami beruntung sbb most of the patients who suffer mucopolysaccharidosis dpt di-trace bila dah a bit too late. Dah masuk sekolah n all that. So Dr. Joling, we'll see u one day for a token of sorry & thanks. No worry it's nobody fault. We call "this a gift from Allah" At least 2-3 future doctors dpt jugak study kes Zihni utk tgk early sign of this illness, insyaAllah... Alhamdulillah...

My FB status on 29 Julai 2013

Assalamualaikum semua.
Quick update on Zihni Aflah.
We are now in IPHKL just meeting a group of genetic specialists. Good thing is... It MIGHT NOT BE mucopolysacchaaridosis but... It is still liver disfunction AND another UNKNOWN things regarding her organs. Need further investigations. Tu je yg the doctors (3 of them altogether) in quite a curious look dapat bgtau kami, so tu je yg dpt kami bgtahu buat masa ini. Selebihnya, kami pun masih tertanya2...

[ZA 11 bulan] 4D3N @ Selayang Hospital

Ini cerita bulan lepas huhu genap sebulan tak tepek2 lagi huhu

Al kisah lepas CNY hari tu Nini wasnt feeling well...
CNY kan... paham2 je lah xde klinik bukak + kami balik kampung so sangatlah tak ingat pasal hospital huhu
Tapi luckily jugak x hantar Nini g Hospital Lipis... Oh no no no kalau kena admitted sane... Huhuhu

eh, takpe lah... layan gambar dulu
lagi gambar kat FB momy ye

GAMBAR2 DAY 1 (13/2/13)

 

 GAMBAR2 DAY 2 (14/2/13)

bila ayah dah bawak mainan dtg... tangan Epeng nak kena drip jugak huhu

GAMBAR2 DAY 3 (15/2/13)

pagi-pagi dah bangun... bontot sakit huhu

gigih berusaha nak bangun dgn tgn sebelah je

tengah hari ada clown dtg bg goodies & belon...

Sayalah Angry Bird!

GAMBAR2 DAY 4 (16/2/13)

tengah harinye dah boleh balik... YAY!!!

so momy kasik compliments kat Hospital Selayang atas jasa baik mereka :)

Eh, tetibe mcm malas nak tulis. ha boleh gitu? anti2 kite cerita occay :)